Today is the first day of school. It is either going to be the longest day of my year or the shortest.
See I sent my baby off to Kindergarten today and my oldest to her last first day of elementary. Now granted, he’s really not my baby anymore. We have a new baby to keep me plenty busy. However, for the last 5 years, he was my baby. The last. He and I, we did everything together. For the last 2 years, it was just us at home while his sisters went off to school.
In years past I jumped with joy on that first day of school. I didn’t understand the parents who said they cried as they watched their kids start school. When I was a kid, freedom was synonymous with the first day of summer break. As an adult, I’ve considered freedom to be synonymous with the first day of school.
First Day of School Feelings
It’s a New Adventure:
With Venice, I was so excited for her to get out and meet new friends. She was going to learn all kinds of awesome things. Her shyness would hopefully be overcome as she makes new and lasting friendships. This was a natural part of growing up, and so I had no fears.
A Perfect Fit:
Chloe was always a social bug and so when school came for her, I knew it was her element. She’d fit right in, and be happier there than spending the days at home with me. Not only was she ready socially, but learning came so naturally to her. She was reading over Venice’s shoulders before her first day of school ever came.
Can School Be Every Day?:
Rosalina, my wild child, I was just ready for a break from. Not because I don’t love her, but because she is strong-willed, independent, and exhausting! Hey, it takes a village here, right? We needed the break from each other so our time spent together could be filled with more love and fun, and fewer battles of power. Admittedly I was terrified that first week that she was going to decide school was boring, and just leave on her own. I prayed in my heart that first day of school that the phone would not ring.
I thought I would be excited to send Lincoln off today. Just as with the others. Instead, my insides are all twisted. This is a new life experience and should be full of excitement. I know he will love it. He was so frustrated every day last year when he couldn’t get on the bus with his sisters, and I was excited for the prospect of getting on top of my to do list, instead of always behind.
Now I sit here, wondering if he’s doing OK. Did they get him to his classroom? Is he feeling nervous? What if he wants me, and nothing else will console him? What if he has an allergic reaction? Will they get him on the right bus to come home? It took everything in me not to wake the baby and chase the bus to the school, just for one “last hug”.
For him, I put on my brave face. My smile and excitement just as strong as his. I know he’ll be fine. It’s just tough. I miss him here, bouncing on the couch next to me while I try to get work done. Begging me to play Transformers with him, and then acting like I’m crazy when I talk for Optimus Prime – because apparently, I don’t say the right things. Insisting he’s hungry every 5 minutes, even while food is sitting in front of him. My buddy day in and day out, is for the first time gone – all. day. long.
The house is eerily quiet. My new baby, Harold, is sound asleep for his morning nap, and I can’t help but feel grateful for the next 5 years with him. We plan to make every moment count.
Now excuse me while I go cry because my baby is all grown up and in Kindergarten.