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Chores. We all have them. We all need to do them. We all try to avoid them (you know you do!). Part of living in a home with others is learning to share the space so everyone is comfortable. The home is just the beginning though. I personally feel what we learn in the home, will reflect in our relationships with our coworkers, community, and extended family.
Being a parent and needing to teach the basic essentials of living with others can be a daunting task sometimes. We may resort to anger, yelling, tears, bribes and eventually just doing things ourselves because we’re the only ones who can do it right. All we manage to do with those choices is deprive our children of learning important life skills. Having chores helps teach kids about responsibility.
For awhile now we’ve been doing a Daddy Dollars/Mommy Market rewards system. It was working for awhile. The kids never knew when they would get Daddy Dollars, but they started asking to get them, and would only do things if they got a Daddy Dollar out of it. I didn’t want them learning a sense of entitlement, and only working to get something. I want them to learn that doing chores and helping others out can bring them joy and others. The whole feel good for doing something good aspect.
So we’ve been trying out these “Hands Around the House” by 3R Cards – a product made by moms for moms. What I really like about the Hands Around the House is that the idea behind it is to teach our kids how to live in a community. The first community we join, and I feel is the most important is our family. We just learn so much in the home that will shape who we are and the choices we make throughout our life.
The “Hands Around the House” by 3R Cards is a chore system based on 3 R’s
- Responsibility
- Respect
- Reward
Although I’m not a big fan of using rewards as a means to get my kids to do something, I do believe in setting goals to work towards. I like to use the rewards to set goals the kids can work towards, or as a family we can work towards. For example, this weekend we were blessing Baby Prince, which meant a lot of family coming over to our house. So yesterday we pulled out the 3R chore cards and got to work cleaning the house. We were all working towards the same goal, a house that could welcome company and make the time with them enjoyable.
The Princesses have never been so excited about chores as they are using the 3R cards! To start getting into the routine, we are only doing 1 chore a day so far, but Saturday the Princesses decided they wanted to do as many as they could. So I let them pick a chore, complete it, and then pick another one. I tell you what, our home has never looked good so fast, with all of us still happy at the end of it. Out of all the chore cards that come in the Hands Around the House set, I’d have to say Making Lunch has been the favorite. They get to spend a little time in the kitchen with mom, and they get that immediate gratification of food when they’re done.
The least favorite, or most difficult to accomplish has been Clean up the Toys. It feels almost too broad, and since all the kids make the toy mess, it almost seems – dare I say it – unfair. When that chore is picked I usually still have to help accomplish it, but I no longer have to fight for it to be done.
We have yet to use the Rewards cards that came in the set, but that’s because our Mommy Market is still stocked and working pretty well as an extra treat for doing the work.
~Giveaway~
*I received this review opportunity as part of MomPact.com. All opinions are my own.
I do something similar for our chores, except I just typed up all the chores and cut them into strips and put them in a jar. The kids pick out a random chore and go do it. For the toys,instead of having one that says pick up toys (because of the unfairness to that child), I have three strips of paper that say pick up ten toys and then if some still need picked up I put it back in the jar. That way not one child gets stuck having to do the biggest job. It's broken down for them and doesn't make it seem impossible.
I've tried similar things too Elizabeth. One thing I love about these cards are the drawings. They make it more fun for the girls.
I should change the clean up toys to a certain number, good idea!
I had a really cute chart for mine when they were younger that had pictures. My kids loved it and it worked but after a few moves they've gotten ruined and lost. Now that mine are older and can read it ended up being just as easy for them, plus the older ones I really don't need to remind them much either. At least you have that to look forward to, teach them now and in a few years you will have very responsible girls.
Lori, that is a great idea! Thanks for stopping by and the good suggestion. Leadership skills are another very important skill we need to help our kids learn.
That's a great comment about the potential problems with Pick Up Toys. It is a pretty general, constant chore for a family, and you've got me thinking about ways to get around the unfairness. What about using the card as an opportunity for one child to assist and/or manage the other children to pick up their own toys? Set with the task of co-ordinating a team to work toward a common goal might just result in more empathy for mom/dad, as well as spurring on the development of the negotiation and motivation skills found in community leaders.