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Struggling with messy bedrooms?

Messy bedrooms feel like my life right now. I’ve gotten back to the point of walking past and just shutting the kid’s bedroom doors so I don’t have to see it. Then I came across this article I shared a few years ago, and my resolve to have clean bedrooms has returned!

Originally published on Positive Parenting Solutions. Reposted here with permission.

Clean Bedrooms—Not Just in Your Dreams

We all know the scene: a few carefully sung words by Mary Poppins, and the Banks’ children’s dolls and clothes march into the toy chest and fold themselves neatly into the closet.

Parents and kids alike wish it were real. But no amount of singing or snapping is going to make that nightmare of a bedroom clean itself. And despite your best efforts, nagging isn’t working either.
While you might not have Mary Poppins’ super powers, you can employ strategies that will help your kids clear their clutter and rediscover that they do have a floor under that mess. Try these “practical magic” tips that will get real results:

Give the mess a rest. What’s the worst that would happen if your kids never cleaned their rooms? Toys would get lost or broken, clothes would stay stained—and that’s no fun. To let these natural consequences do the dirty work for you, first warn your kids about the pitfalls of a messy room and assure them you have complete confidence in their ability to keep things tidy on their own. Then, say nothing when nature runs its course. Refuse to rescue your kids by replacing a missing toy or running an emergency load of laundry, and soon enough, the rooms will get straightened and a lesson will be learned.

Wake your kids’ inner room-cleaner with an alarm they’ll notice. The next time dirty socks and building blocks start intermixing, resist the need to nag. Instead, do a little planning so you can phrase it this way: “When your room is clean, then you may go play with your friends.” The “sugar” in your sentence can be any regularly occurring privilege, from enjoying TV time to eating dinner—but avoid offering rewards or bribes, as you’ll continually have to up the ante. Also, allow plenty of time for a thorough cleaning to take place—depending on the size of the mess, that’s probably at least 20 minutes before a favorite show or dinnertime.

Swallow your need to control. Nothing short of magic can control another person—but you can control your own reaction. Keep the yelling at bay by deciding what you will do whenever the mess gets out of control. At a calm time (so, not while you’re wading through their rooms), inform your kids that they’re old enough to keep their rooms clean. Then say something like, “If your room isn’t clean by dinner every Saturday, I will clean it with a cardboard box. Any toys and clothes not put away will be stored in the basement for a week.” Then, follow through. If you find your kids aren’t missing their favorite toy or coolest jeans, it’s time for a trip to Goodwill.

Put these techniques to work, and you and your kids will be well on your way to enjoying clean bedrooms—no song and dance routine required.

What tips do you have to tame messy bedrooms?

January 30, 2017
Spring Clean your Closet

Spring is here, and in this home it means spring cleaning of all kinds! Today I want to talk about spring cleaning your closet.

I’ve been slowly working my way through Marie Kondo’s The life-changing Magic of Tidying Up. One of the key messages I’ve taken from it, is that things we own should spark joy. If it doesn’t bring us joy, and it doesn’t serve a useful purpose, we should get rid of it!

I decided the best place for me to start applying this would be my closet. It wasn’t quite spring, but the weather around here has been pretty nice. So the windows came open, and I started pulling all my clothes out and stacking them on the bed. Unlike a lot of people I know, I don’t really own a lot of clothes already, but the ones I do own were not sparking joy. Very little joy was sparked when opening my drawers actually.

Spring Clean Your Closet

Wash everything.

Start by washing everything! The worst thing to do when spring cleaning anything is doing it in shifts. You don’t want to go through your clothes and then add items back in that you haven’t had a chance to go through. I know it’s easy to say you’ll just do it as you wash them, but I’ve been there, done that. It doesn’t work nearly as effectively.

Pull it all out.

Once everything is clean, pull it all out! Lay it on your bed, couch, middle of the floor – as long as it’s clean – so you can see it all. Go ahead and grab your shoes as well! You know you’ve got some you don’t really love.

One at a time.

Don’t worry about sorting the clothes into tops, bottoms, dresses, jackets, socks, etc. Just dive right in! Pick up one item. Hold it up. Inspect every inch of it. Try it on if you need. Then ask – does this spark joy? Does it make you feel like you, the real you when you wear it? Does it fit? Are you holding on to it for memory sake, or because maybe one day it might fit again?

Separate.

After asking yourself all these questions, you have one last question to make. Do I keep it, or get rid of it? Then separate it into it’s respective pile. Have a box or bag handy so the “get rid of” pile, as we call it here, can be taken out as soon as you are done. The more it hangs around the house, the more likely you’ll have a hard time really letting go of it.

I had ordered a Clean-Out Bag from ThredUP, so once I was done I nicely folded my clothes, placed them inside the bag, and sent them off to ThredUP. Out of about 20 items I sent, they were able to resell 4. Not too shabby, and I knew that would probably be the case. What I love is that the rest of the clothes I sent will be given to textile recycling companies so nothing will end up in landfills.

Try ThredUP on me! Sign up and get an automatic $10 to spend! It will also give me $10 to spend, so you know, help a girl that’s lacking in cute clothes out.

Now that your closet is cleaned out, you can buy a few new pieces that DO spark joy! What will you buy? Are you inspired by the flowers in bloom, or does you closet contain more neutrals?

This post is part of a blog hop from Blogs & Business: Moms Who Do It All. Check out some of the other awesome blogs participating:

Daily Momtivity | The Art of Better Blogging | The Jessie K | Fighting for Fitness | Building Butterflies | Forty by Forty Fitness | A Kreative Whim | Women Winning Online | Hometown Betty | Champagne and Cheerios | B is for Bookworm | Aileen Cooks | A Cotton Kandi Life | Beyond Mommying | Home Maid Simple | Tot Tot Goose | Thrifty Guardian | Diary of a New Mommy | Mrs and Momma | Blue Eyed Babies | The Little Tourist | From Designer to Diapers | Mommy, Memories and Mouse Ears | Redmond Kids | Cheer and Cherry

March 15, 2016
Daylight Savings Time Sleep Tips

This post is sponsored by Sleep Number. Opinions are 100% my own.

This Sunday is Daylight Savings Time. Every year my newsfeed floods with friends and the dread of kids losing that extra hour of sleep. No parent wants to lose sleep, because come on, most of us are probably running on very little sleep as it is.

Sleep Number recently took a new sleep survey and put together some tips to help you get through this weekend without feeling like you lost any sleep. Rather, you may even feel more rested! I’ve added a few of my own tips as well.

Start a day early

This is something I truly think makes a difference in the mindset. On Saturday, I automatically start thinking of everything as an hour later. Lunch at 11, dinner, at 4 or 5, and bedtime for the kids at 7. By thinking of everything as an hour later, you lose your hour during the day before, instead of at night when your body is recharging.

Screen Free Zone

Survey results indicate that people who use devices in bed are more likely to feel they don’t get enough sleep (51 percent). 66% of respondents bringing devices to bed are from the Western US.

You’ve heard it before, I’ll repeat it again. Keep the screens out of the bedroom. Screens have a tendency to keep us awake, for me mostly because it draws me in – ooo facebook, hey another Instagram like, I wonder what I need to work on tomorrow…. You know how it goes.

Make a bed on the floor

Alright, this is not just a Daylight Savings Time sleep tip. No no, this is my personal tip for sleeping anytime with small children. I know many of you have kids out there like mine. They get up in the night. No real reason, other than they woke up and have this incurable need to wake up mom. I get why some couples buy a King size bed! We prefer our Queen, though, so my solution is a floor “bed”. Basically, I toss an extra pillow on the floor before I fall asleep, and have a blanket or two with it. The older kids know to just lay down and go to sleep. The younger two are still learning, but it keeps them near me, without sleeping on me.

15 More Minutes

Over half – 54% – of survey respondents report they are not getting enough sleep to be at their best.

Sleep Number suggests adding a mere 15 minutes into your sleep schedule. Baby steps I’ve learned are the key to long term success. Add 15 minutes, and start feeling more rested.

Monitor Sleep

58% of survey respondents wish they knew more about how to improve the quality of their sleep, yet only 16% actually monitor their sleep habits. Also, women are more likely to monitor their sleep then men.

I am bad at this. I really don’t monitor my sleep at all. The harder it has been getting with the kids, though, I’ve been thinking more about just what kind of sleep I’m getting. Sleep Number’s Sleep IQ technology offers a simple solution to those who want to know better sleep.

Prep Breakfast

Again, this works great for anytime, but especially Daylight Savings Time. If you don’t have anywhere to be early Sunday morning, prep breakfast the night before. Set out bowls for cereal, cut up some fruit, toss some Oatmeal in the Crockpot, whatever you want for breakfast. Then when the kids or spouse wake up early, and you want to sleep in, they don’t have to bother you for breakfast!

What are your Daylight Savings Time tips?

March 5, 2015
Word of the year for 2015: Marriage

Last year I chose to start my year off with a word instead of a resolution. I chose Joy, and created a display to remind us. This year, I feel my eyes have been opened again, this time more internally. For 2015 the word I have chosen is Marriage.

As 2014 was wrapping up, and I was looking ahead to new year, I began reflecting on myself. How can I personally be better – you know the normal things people look at when making resolutions. I don’t remember what it was exactly but one day I felt my eyes were opened. I was looking at my marriage very superficially. I was standing on the outside looking in, and I was being very judgmental, mostly of my husband.

I felt my pride crushed, and humility truly start to take form. From an outside, glazed over perspective, it was easy to say all our troubles were not my fault. A closer examination, and something I’m willing to bet would be similar to all marriages is that it takes two. Yes your spouse may be making choices that hurt your or the family, but perhaps you’ve made some as well. Chances are good you have, they just may not be as apparent.

Looking back, I could have been happier, I could have found more joy, if I had had a different attitude. Rather than the disappointing glances, the sighs and anger – I should have spent my energy on comfort, love, and most of all grace. What I’m coming to realize is that over a couple years of struggles I sank to a low without even realizing it.

2015 is the year my marriage takes precedence. I am promising myself, my husband, and letting you in on it too with a couple of ideas to get us started.

More Grace. Wiki defines grace as “Generous, free and totally unexpected”. Our spouses should actually expect our grace, and we should freely give it more often. We need to give our spouses more grace. To love them despite their human tendencies, because self check – you’re human too! In the face of any trials that come your way in 2015, and I know they’ll come, commit to giving more grace.

More Patience. When two people decide to join their life into one, it’s hard to remember that you are still separate beings with likes and dislikes. When a disagreement happens, it’s easy to get frustrated, to feel you’re right, and be angry that this supposed other half seems almost alien in their opinion. Try to understand them, and really listen. This year commit to giving more patience in the face of disagreement, and remember that though you’re entitled to an opinion, so are they.

More Support. How can anyone feel good about doing anything, if they don’t have your support? When an idea is given, do you turn it down, do you really listen to it and consider it? Are you afraid of the same outcomes from a past failed idea? This year commit to giving your spouse more support. Listen. Support in their ideas, their pursuits, and most importantly their feelings. Support your spouse through the trials, as well as the successes. With a strong support system, the impossible can be accomplished.

More Us. It’s so easy to let the kids take over your life; the kids, a busy schedule, or maybe a messy house. These are just excuses, don’t let them get in your way. Mix things up and be spontaneous, spice up your life! Text your spouse mid day and challenge them to a board game or card game after the kids have gone to bed. Make a special dinner and dessert just for the two of you. Put your electronic gadgets away the second they come home, so you can spend more time together. Make them your focus, tie the activity to just the two of you, and keep it stress free. You want them to be with you so make it easy. This year, commit to more time together.

This year I commit to us – to my Marriage!

January 8, 2015
Tips for a Stress Free Thanksgiving

Tips for a Stress Free Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is arguably the most underrated holiday of the year. Tables filled with delicious turkey, mashed potatoes, vegetables, cranberry sauce, and pies entice families all over the country to gather together to eat, laugh, and share memories. It’s practically a get out of jail free card for noshing on all the yummy food you can eat!

If you are hosting Thanksgiving this year, the holiday may be losing a bit of its shimmer as you contemplate the gazillion things you have to get done before turkey day finally arrives. In order to save you and your family from a possible meltdown, burnt turkey, and another crazy family story to tell at family reunions for years to come, take a little time to prepare in advance. A few minutes of early prep will make your day a little less crazy and a lot more enjoyable.

Shop Ahead

Do not wait until the day before Thanksgiving to hit the stores for food. Not only will you be joining a throng of cranky procrastinators, you’ll be adding unneeded extra stress. Purchase your food as far in advance as possible; you may even already have some non-perishables lying around the house, as these can remain fresh for months at a time. You can even purchase your turkey in advance. If you do happen to forget an item, you’ll only have to run to the store to grab one or two things instead of a cart full.

Prepare Your Kitchen:

A week or so before the big day, take an inventory of your kitchen. Review the recipes you plan to use (and pull them out so you can access them when you need them) to make sure you have everything you need, either in your kitchen or on your shopping list. Make sure to calibrate meat thermometers, clean out the fridge, free up Tupperware dishes and dust off holiday décor.

Use Paper Plates:

I know this may sound terribly untraditional and unholy for some families, but if the idea of tackling a million dishes and pans is enough to make you swoon, consider opting for paper plates instead. You’ll save time on cleanup, which means you get to spend more time playing games and talking with your family.

Cook Ahead:

If you are hosting a big party, it’s likely you have a lot of cooking to do. It can be overwhelming and your kitchen may not be suited for cooking 15 different food items at once. Bake everything you can in advance. Pies, cakes, and other desserts can easily be made and stored at least 24 hours in advance (you can even freeze pies to store them longer), casseroles can be prepared in advance, and drinks and juices can be prepared. Get as much of the food that will hold over well cooked the day before and simply reheat when dinner rolls around. Your turkey, stuffing, rolls, and gravy should not be among those prepped early.

Image Source: personalcreations.com

Sort the Plates:

If you spend most of Thanksgiving morning cooking and plating entrees and sides, you don’t want to waste time digging through the cupboard looking for your favorite dish or the right sized platter for your veggie tray. Pull out the serving dishes the night before and label each dish with a sticky note telling you what dish will be used for which food item. While you are preparing food the next day, you can just grab and go!

Ask for Help:

The best way to reduce stress, save time, and bring the family closer together is to ask everyone to bring a salad, desert or other side dish. You can cook the turkey and another dish or two, but ask that your family members bring over other side dishes so you can spread the workload around.

Thanksgiving is a wonderful time for families to get together and talk over a comfortable meal. Preparing for the big day should be fun and as easy as possible. Keep yourself in the holiday spirit by taking a little extra time before Thanksgiving morning to prepare.

Author Bio: Preston Davis is a first time dad, blogger and DIY extraordinaire. Master of the grill and all things culinary, he currently lives in Southern California with his wife and their 2-year-old daughter. Follow him on Twitter to see what he’s up to: @withPreston.

November 24, 2014
Make Resolutions that aren’t Overwhelming
It’s December 31st.

Many of you are getting ready to party with friends and family as we welcome in 2014.

Some of you are probably looking forward to a decent bedtime with kids so you can get some extra sleep in as well.

A fair portion of you I would guess are also thinking about making some New Years Resolutions. But perhaps some of you are overwhelmed at the thought of resolutions. You think you won’t keep them past the first few days, so why bother?

I’ve gone back and forth myself on the purpose of making Resolutions at the beginning of a New Year. There was a time I told myself the New Year wasn’t really anything special. It’s just a new day with a different year attached. I knew I probably wouldn’t keep my resolutions, so it was pointless.

That’s a pretty negative point of view to have don’t you think? Admittedly, we can always be making some resolutions to do better, and I’m sure most of us do, we just don’t think of them as a resolution usually – just a goal.

Here are my steps to making New Years Resolutions you can actually keep that aren’t overwhelming.

1. Begin by reflecting on the past year. Don’t just look at the bad, or un-kept resolutions. Remember the good times you had as well. Did you receive a promotion at work? Did you spend too much time playing Candy Crush and not enough with your kids? Were you generally happy or sad the whole year?
2. Now pinpoint areas in your past year that you’d like to see changed in the New Year. Focus on a few different areas. They may include
- Health
- Spiritual
- Family relations
- Work
- Education
4. Write down different ways you can improve yourself in these areas. Don’t stick to just one at this point. Make a nice list.
5. Now narrow it down to just one goal you can work on for each area of your life. It doesn’t have to be specific either. It could be as simple as “Spend more time with my kids” or “eat healthier”. Generalize it.
6. Now that you have a general idea of different ways to improve your life in the New Year, make a plan. A goal does no good if you don’t have a plan to accomplish it. What steps are you going to take?
7. Decide how often you will work on each goal. It could be once a week, once a month, or even daily – it completely depends on what your goal is.
8. Now write them down, type them up, and put your resolutions/goals with their plan in a place you can see them.
9. At the beginning of each month for the next year, reevaluate. Are you still working towards your goals? Have you accomplished any? Do you need to change your plan? Making a resolution or goal should not be a one time a year event. Come back to them frequently to make changes and improvements as needed.

Making resolutions for a New Year don’t have to be overwhelming. They shouldn’t be a one time thing either. We are not perfect, but we should strive to be the best possible person we can.

My 2014 New Years Resolution

To give you an idea here is one of my New Years Resolutions – Reconnect with all my siblings, and grow our relationship.
My plan? Write a letter monthly to each of them. Call them on their birthdays. To do that I need to get their phone numbers into my phone. If financially possible, visit each of them at least once during the year. This will prove fairly easy for most of my siblings since they live close, but I have a brother living on the east coast, who is planning to move his family to Belgium sometime next summer. I will need to diligently save money so we can afford a visit to them.
Now I obviously have more than this one resolution, but I hope it gives you an idea on how easy a resolution can be to make and keep.

Have a Happy and Successful 2014 everyone!

Don’t party too hard tonight.
December 31, 2013
5 Tips to Prep Your Home for Winter
Before winter hits, there are some things you should do to prepare your home and family for the colder weather.

These 5 tips will guide you through some simple steps any home owner can take. From keeping the pipes from freezing, to removing unneeded clutter, I hope some of these will help you have a more enjoyable winter.

1. Have your furnace serviced.

Hiring a professional to service your furnace just before the winter months will ensure you and your family aren’t stuck inside a cold home with a broken heater. If you have a fireplace, this would be a great time to have your chimney cleaned as well. Not only does soot build up create a fire hazard, but animals like to build nests in chimneys as the weather starts to turn – ask me how I know that one! Amazon Home Services is a great place to find qualified pros for any home project.

2. Clean the outside of your windows.

Winter to some is known as the depression months, and for some people it goes as far as an actual disorder known as SAD. Sunlight can greatly effect our mood for the better. An easy solution for this, is to open the window blinds. If you’re windows are dirty though, you won’t want to. You most definitely will not want to clean your windows in the snow either. So get out there while the sun is still shining and clean the windows before the snow falls. Now every time you open your curtains this winter you’ll find satisfaction in a clean window, and get a mood lift from the sun. I know it’s cold, but go ahead and open that window for 5 minutes too. The fresh air will change your whole house!

3. Winterize pipes.

As a victim of a burst pipe in our first home, I beg you on my hands and knees, winterize those pipes! Make sure the hose is turned off inside the house, not just at the hose. According to this post I found on Winterizing homes from the Comfree blog, you should also drain the hose, and if you’re expecting an extreme cold winter, you can install some Styrofoam insulation at the spigots.

4. Pack up and store summer clothes.

You know what I hate? Opening my kids drawers and finding them full of shorts in the dead of winter. If you child is old enough to dress themselves, you most likely will find them trying to wear shorts no matter the weather, or they may just throw them on the floor, mixing them in with the dirty laundry. You can save yourself a lot of extra work, by packing these all in a box, and storing them out of the way until the warm months return.

5. Know where emergency supplies are.

Finally, and I think this is something a lot of people are prone to forget, is have and know where your emergency supplies are. You never know when a winter storm will leave you without power. A few things you should have on hand
- flashlights
- candles
- matches
- simple tools. ie, hand wrenches, screwdrivers
- warm blankets
I currently keep a bag of these on hand in my car (you never know when you may end up stranded on the road). Although I can easily grab it and bring it inside, it would be best to have an emergency kit inside your house as well.
November 29, 2013
Healthy Child Healthy World with Seventh Generation
*Last week I had the opportunity to speak with representatives from Seventh Generation, Healthy Child Healthy World, and The Motherhood. Compensation was given. All opinions are 100% my own*

I just have to share this video with you all. It brought back a lot of memories of my childhood before making me realize just how different the world has become for our children.
Staggering, isn’t it? I remember going out and running through our wooded backyard without a care in the world. I often went outside without shoes on, and it was OK!

What really got me thinking, though, and really re-evaluating the everyday products I buy and use in our home was this next stat –

In the European Union 1,328 chemicals have been banned from use in personal care items. Only 11 have been banned OR restricted in the US.

Isn’t that crazy? At first you might think, those Europeans just like to restrict things, they’re overly cautious. But really let’s think about it. Surely with a 1,317 difference, there’s got to be some more substance to it.

I know I’ve shared multiple “green” cleaning products with you in the past, but truth be told, my absolute favorite cleaner is Hot Soapy water. I find it just does the best job, and it truly is the safest to use around the kids.

I found a few more of these studies to be quite interesting and thought you’d like to look over them yourselves –
- In a study of 10 minority newborns, more than 232 chemicals were found in the umbilical cords! Did you get that? Our babies are being exposed to hundreds of chemicals before they’re even out of the womb. Scary
- In a study of 10 children’s face paints, all 10 tested positive for lead. Hello! You have to sign forms when buying an old house to make sure you’re aware that lead could be in the walls, but hey, let’s go paint some lead on our kids face. Sounds about right to me.
- Studies have found flame retardant, Bisphenol-A, and other environmental chemicals in breast milk Great, breast is best right? but how much are we losing that with the addition of chemicals into our lives.
- Consumer Product Safety Commission has recalled children’s toys and jewelry for high lead content. Shouldn’t we test this before we buy it? Before we expose our family to potentially dangerous chemicals?
Knowledge is power right? I hope that this knowledge will inspire you to take action as well.

These are some great things you can do in your home, but if you’d like to get involved on a larger scale, I encourage you to reach out to your local Senators and urge them to pass the Chemical Safety Improvement Act.

Did you know that the law regulating chemical use in our everyday products has not been updated in over 35 years?! Seriously, I think that’s a bit long. We live in a constantly changing, and growing world, not to look at something so crucial as the way we use chemicals.

You can follow this link for more information on this Act and how to contact your state Senator.
November 12, 2013
Tips for a Successful Marriage

*This post is sponsored by Swiffer. All personal thoughts and tips for a successful marriage are my own*

I don’t get on youtube a whole lot unless a video is shared directly with me. Some of my all time favorites are the cute old couples, who have been together forever. There’s just something about them that you can’t help like, and hope and dream that someday you’ll be that cute old couple.

Couples like Morty and Lee give me the warm fuzzies. You can see their love for each other, but also their determination to be themselves. I just love it.

Today Mark and I are celebrating 8 years of marriage. We have a long way to go before becoming the Morty and Lee couple, but it is what we strive for. Here are a few tips for a successful marriage I’d like to share.

Communicate

On our honeymoon, Mark and I listened to a book someone had given us on marriage. The one piece of advice we both grasped on to, was communication. It told a story of a couple driving.

The husband at the wheel, the wife as passenger. Wife was getting hot, and said something to the effect “it’s really warm out today”. Husband replies “yes it is”, and continues driving. The wife sees an ice cream shop ahead and says “A cool treat would be nice in this heat”. Husband replies “yeah an ice cold soda would be nice”, and passes by the ice cream shop. Wife then begins to get angry. You never listen to me, she complains. Why didn’t you stop at the ice cream shop?! Of course the husband is confused and baffled at his wife’s outburst. He had no idea she saw the ice cream, and wanted some. She didn’t communicate her wants properly, and expected her husband to just know.

This story is all paraphrased from what I remember 8 years ago. Probably not exactly the story, but you can picture it right? How often do we do this to each other. Communication is so important in your marriage.

Hold on to Wedding Vows

So many marriages include the words “For better or worse” “through sickness and health” and “till death do we part”. But how many of these become just words to couples, as they toss out their marriage because they “fell out of love”, or one spouse made a mistake that becomes unforgivable to the other.

I will tell you right now – we have had our bad times. I expect more to come. But I know that I will fight for our marriage. I know that Mark will too because I know I’ll make my share of mistakes. As I forgive Mark for mistakes, I hope he can forgive me for mine as well. In our wedding, the words “For Time and All Eternity” replace “Till Death Do you Part”. When we are having a rough patch, I remind myself of that. I want to be married to Mark for all eternity. I plan on being married to Mark for all eternity. So we work on it. We push through until we come out to a sunny day – and there will be sunny days when you fight for each other, I promise!

Take time for each other

It’s often been suggested that you should have a monthly date night. A time to focus solely on each other, without the distraction of work, kids, or chores. By reconnecting you tell your spouse that you love them. You want to spend time with them, and you want to hear what’s on their mind that that they may not get to tell you during the rush of everyday routines.

Mark and I have almost a daily date. After putting the kids to bed, we sit together with snacks and watch our favorite shows, or we pull out a book to read together. Sometimes we’ll just use that time to reconnect as well.

Take time for yourself

I fail at this frequently. I have a hard time taking that time for myself because I feel like I must be selfish. It’s not selfish, though! Let me repeat…Making time for yourself is not selfish! There could come a point where all you’re doing is taking time for you, and then it would be selfish. But whether it’s getting up early to enjoy the morning quiet daily, or doing a weekly activity, you need that time. It allows you to enjoy a moment and free your mind of any negativity. Your spouse and family will enjoy the refreshed you. I learned this important lesson recently when I went to the Inspire My Life event with just my sister in law. I felt refreshed for almost 2 weeks after that, and still just thinking about it lightens my mood.

Learn your spouses Love Language

If you haven’t read the book 5 Love Languages, I recommend it. If you don’t want to read it though, I do suggest taking the Love Language test. It’s really a wonderful gauge to see what others can do for you that make you feel the most loved. If you know your spouse’s language it will be easier to show them love, and they will feel your love much more in a way that truly impacts their life. For me, my main love language is Physical Touch. I love hugging, kissing, and holding hands with my husband. These simple acts, for me, bring us closer as a couple.

Focus on the positives

This is especially important during the rough times. We can get so caught up in the negatives of a situation that after eating away at ourselves, it will start to eat away at our marriage. A good rule of thumb is for every negative thought, think of 5 positives. I’ve often been told that I have a good outlook on life, and I do hope that’s true. Things like a job loss, have me looking at the idea that we can move closer to family. Sure a job loss has been pretty scary for us recently, and if I wanted to I could dwell on the negative impacts our family is going through, but I’ve held fast to these positive thoughts, and because of it, I feel closer to Mark in a way I hadn’t before.

Be Flexible and Humble

Because this is a post on marriage advice, I asked Mark what he would add to my list. I couldn’t agree more with him. In a successful and long lasting marriage, you should be flexible in your wants, and be willing to give things up. It is also important to be humble. To apologize when you’ve made a mistake and work to correct it. On the other side of that, I’d also like to add be forgiving. Forgive your spouse when they make a mistake and allow them the chance to fix it. An unforgiving spouse has as much fault as the one who messed up.

How Do You Have a Successful Marriage?

July 29, 2013
Are your Kids Safe

I was thinking about the news this week. One particular national news I almost decided to share my thoughts on, but to be honest, the emotions I’ve seen around the Internet…I don’t want to go there here.

There have been a couple smaller and local articles that have been pulling at me, though, and making me re-evaluate just how safe and aware I am of my kids.

When leaving with a babysitter, have I effectively communicated all the information needed? Are my children safe at a park alone? Are they even safe in my front yard, or my parents un-fenced backyard?

Think About It!

These 3 questions lay heavily on my mind because they all made the news this last week. The first article was about a baby found alone in a stroller on the sidewalk – but that was blatant poor parenting as the mother had no explanation as to why she left her child. News like this makes me so sad!

Let’s move on, though, shall we? I’m writing under the assumption that most of you are good parents who wouldn’t leave an infant alone, outside at 5:30 am.

Case 1

Earlier this week, another headline hit me of a 2-year-old found wandering around alone. There were no missing child reports and no way to identify the child’s parents. So the news got his picture out looking for anyone to recognize him. Thankfully, his babysitter did!

This was just a sad miscommunication. Mom and son were new to the area, and Mom got up early and left for work – under the assumption that she had asked the family she was living with to watch her son that day. But Mom didn’t tell anyone when she left. Son got up after Mom and went outside as well. When the babysitters awoke and couldn’t find the boy, it was assumed other arrangements had been made.

TIP 1: Always, Always make sure you and your babysitter are on the same page, and never leave the child until the babysitter is aware of where they are. I’m sure this Mom is just so happy her son was found safe!

Also, look into clothing labels. I know there’s products out there that attach to the inside of clothing with a name/address/phone number. You never know when it might be needed.

Case 2

12 and 8-year-old sisters were playing alone at a park, after 7 pm. A man dressed in black with a mask attempts to kidnap the 8-year-old – after the tried running away first. The 12-year-old managed to hit the man in his mouth, at which point he backed off, and the girls made it to a friends house.

Mom taught the girls safety, and what to do in this type of situation.

Tip 2: Teach your children about safety. They are never too young to learn to run from strangers, and fight back if in danger. Have a “safe house” designated around any areas you frequent. A “safe house” would be a friends house, an elderly couple in the area, or an acquaintance you trust. Show your kids the safe house, and remind them they can go to them anytime they feel they are in danger.

Case 3

A man abducts a 5-year-old from her grandmother’s front yard with the promise of ice cream. As a neighborhood search commences, a 15 year old boy and his friends are given the description and begin their own search. When they spot a girl matching the description they begin following the car on their bikes. The abductor stops and lets the girl out before taking off.

Tip 3: Teach your child stranger danger. Never accept candy, gifts, or promises from adults you don’t know, and never get in a stranger’s vehicle. I think this was a happy ending because a search was put under right away. So if your child is outside playing, either be with them or check on them frequently!

Think About It!

Could any of these have ever happened to you? We had an incident just last week that made my heart race. We were getting family pictures taken at a local free garden (Thanksgiving Point). After pictures, we stopped in an ice cream shop for a little treat, and to get out of the rain. Mark had to run across to another shop for an ATM, and I thought he had Princess R with him. When out of the blue a stranger told me my daughter was stuck in the door on the other side of the building….WHAT?! Mark had told Princess R to go back to mommy, he would be right back while I thought he was taking her with him. She ended up following Mark but getting stuck in the heavy doors. It could have ended so much worse. We failed on communication!

With the recent stories, I plan on paying a little more attention to my kids whereabouts, as well as teaching them these same tips I’ve shared here. I know we’ve talked about them before, but it never hurts to repeat it.

July 18, 2013